The DIE-ET

Jared and I went on a "clensing" diet (his idea), consisting of fruits, vegetables, beans and rice....What the hell? No meat? No dairy? These are both part of the government approved food pyramid (mypyramid.gov/). Anyway, we decided to try it. How hard could 2 weeks of pure starvation be? Here is my story...

Jared and I were sitting at our normal seats (3 & 4) at Fireside Pies after inhaling massive ammounts of delectable crimini, ricotta, and pepperoni pizza. We were beyond miserably full. Jared begins, "I think we should go on a detox diet." I turned and looked at him as if maybe the pepperonis were laced with drugs. Being as full as I was, I began to think that it wasn't a bad idea. I mean, even before the holidays began, Jared and I were eating like fat kids.
"That's a really good idea, babe", I replied encouragingly. "Now is a good time to do this, so we can avoid gaining excess weight over the holidays." I really was convincing myself that this was what we both really needed to do. After conversing about the details, we decided that Monday was the big day...we were going to detox for 2 weeks.We went shopping on Sunday night. It was a very short trip since we were limited to only 2 isles. Monday morning I woke up and got ready. I had a fat, juicy, honeycrisp apple. I thought, "not to bad, I can do this." The day went on...LUNCH TIME! I was STARVING!!! Everybody at work was excited about chicken-fried steak day at the Chuck Wagon. Mmmmm....chicken-fried Steak, mashed potatoes, 2 rolls with excessive amounts of butter. As I entered the Chuck Wagon, my coworkers made their way to that greasy pile of goodness. I made my way to the crappy salad bar where I filled my plate with lettuce, cauliflower, and brocolli...and thats it...
Everyone was wondering what the hell I was doing. I explained my situation and they all agreed it was a stupid idea, well, all except for the vegan at the end of the table. My stomach was aching and growling. I wanted those mashed potatoes so bad. Finally lunch ended. I emailed Jared I AM HUNGRY via email, and he replied that he was as well. The rest of the day went by and my hunger eventually deterred. By dinner time, I was dizzy and irritated. When I got home, Jared said, "I want Fireside". As we ate steamed veggies and brown rice, I convinced him that we could do this. Every night after, he announced that he wanted pizza and I continued to encourage better choices and that it was only the beginning and we could make it through. It would all be over soon.
Day 2 and 3 were not so bad. I precooked some beans for lunch and baked sweet potatoes for dinner. Jared was bitching every second he got. "Maybe we should just do 10 days instead", I suggested on Day 2.
"I'm thinking about trying to just get through a week", he replied.
Day 4 was kind of a blur (it was yesterday by the way). I remember being frustrated about having the same meal 4 days in a row. In all honesty, I didn't want to be ther 'first quitter'. If he wanted to stop, he would have to say so and I would just follow. I surprisingly felt o.k. My hunger wasn't satiated, but I was o.k. That night he finally said, "I quit". I thought he was joking, but apparently he was dead serious. He was irritable, cranky, and his eyes were glazed over in hunger.
That night, we made our way to Fireside Pies where we enjoyed the same pizza we left off on, delicious crimini, ricotta, and pepperoni. It tasted better than I remembered. We spent our evening watching the Mav's game. We also got to decorate and hang a stocking next to all of the employee stockings because of our constant dedication to the restaurant.
Do I regret it? No, I don't. I know that I could of done it, and been better off than my significant other, but truth be told, I love food too much to deprive myself of all the things I love for that long. We told ourselves that we do need to start eating healthier which I feel is an attainable goal. We decided to start Monday. ROUND 2!